...kevin

wow.. it’s been a REALLY long time since i blogged. but sometimes i forget how much i like it. if you know me, you know that i’m very bad with expressing myself. i best express myself in writing. so it’s nice to sit down and just write a bit. i don’t even care if anyone reads this.. i just like to write because it actually helps me process things. anyways here it goes.. so i’ve been studying abroad in scotland for the last 4 months. it’s definitely been an experience i wouldn’t trade for anything.  not only have i been out of my comfort zone for the last 4 months, i’ve learned so much about myself as a person that i am very thankful for. but it’s been very hard. before i came here, i was dating someone for 3 months before coming to scotland. the timing wasn’t great, but that’s life i guess. anyways, we had a really great relationship. it really was one of the happiest times in my life. 4 1/2 of the 5 1/2 months were absolutely perfect. every relationship has its ups and downs. it was very hard maintaining a long distance relationship. probably the hardest thing i’ve ever done. but it was worth it. overtime, the distance really started to take effect. along with some other things, it just wasn’t the same anymore. and because of that, i fought harder and harder to make our relationship great again. i tried too hard. and that backfired on me. but we eventually broke up, and i was kind of OK with it. we were tired of the long distance and we both had things we were working on. but we both had the intention of getting back together when we were ready. and i was pumped about that. because things could be normal again.. we could have a normal relationship without scotland. i miss those days so much.. before scotland. some of the best memories of my life. anyways… a week and a half later, she decided she didn’t want to get back together after all. so i was kinda blown away by that.. pretty bummed and sad. i am still bummed and sad. this girl was my best friend and someone i trusted everything with. someone that made me a better person. and someone that i really felt something serious about. it’s hard.. especially because i care about her a lot. i never cheated, lied, or neglected her. the worst thing i did was try to make our relationship normal again. but apparently that comes off as a bad thing. i know sometimes i tried to hard… and at times that pushed her away. but it was all in good intention. and i never gave up on her. through all the times that she deserved to be broken up with, i never did because i believed in her. i never gave up on her. ever. in fact, i did the opposite of that.. and apparently that’s a bad thing. so now i’m left here in scotland, completely helpless. and forced to move on. and that i am doing. or at least trying. although it sucks… but that’s life. and it has taught me a lot about myself and how to act in situations. i’ve learned that i am a good person and that i deserve someone who will give 100 percent. i was a damn good boyfriend. i was loyal, honest, understanding, and always there. and although it’s hard now, i know that someday i’m going to be that good boyfriend to someone else. someone who deserves me. even though it sucks now, it’s only going to get better. anyways.. sorry for the long blog. it’s just been in my mind a lot today. guess that’s all for now!

…kevin

i’m trying to do some blogging once a week to let you know what’s goin on in my life. haha so if you’re reading this, thanks for checkin out my page. not much is really goin on in my life at the moment. really excited to get back to bethel and get back into my routine of things.  i’ve only got 3 days left until i’ll be back and i can not be more excited.  it’s one place that i feel home and that i feel comfortable in. i’ve got great friends there that get me and care about me.  don’t get me wrong, i love my family. my parents are two of the greatest parents i could ever ask for and i love my brother a lot and i will miss them, but i am just excited to get away from home for 9 months and do my own thing again. it’s scary to think that i’ve only got 3 semesters left. it feels like i just started school yesterday. but that’s the real world. it goes by fast. as for other things, i went fishing this weekend with bobby and nick. probably one of the funnest times i’ve had in a long time. i caught a pretty sick amount of bass and got to chill for a few days before school starts back up.  see you in 3 days bethel.

…kevin

have you ever been caught yourself thinkin about the future too much? it’s definately something that i do way to much.  there are so many days where i will literally think about what the future holds for me.  there are so many things that i want for my life, things that i hope and dream for. i’m just like every person out there. i want the typical american life:  a wife, kids, a good job, a dog, a house that can provide for my family, maybe a somewhat decent car?  but those are all material things.  there is so much more to life that i want then besides those things.  i want to be a good human being. someone who is compassionate about others. i want every person that i come into contact with to know that i’m a follower of Christ.  i want to treat people the way that i would like to be treated. self worth. dignity. honor. the list goes on..  and so here i am today. thinking about how i can achieve what i want. and i realize… the only way you can dictate the future is if you fix the present.  people tend to say “oh i’ll quit drinking soon” or “maybe next week i’ll start reading my bible more” or “hopefully i won’t do this in the future”. but you know what i realize? the only way you can fix the future is if you fix the present. you must have integrity in what you are doing now, because if you don’t, you will be the same person in the future as you are now.  this may seem like a lot of random thoughts compiled into one, but i hope that you can understand that in order to achieve the goals of your future, you must take the steps NOW. i hope this makes sense… and now i must go to bed. because i have to take responsibility of my life now if i want to have responsibility in the future.

stay tuned,

…kevin

thinking about studying abroad over the last few days has really helped me get my mind off other things going on in my life. at my job, I work by myself pretty much all day so it gives me a lot of time to think. sometimes that can be a bad thing, but lately all I can think about is what i’ll be doing 5 months from now when i’m in london. i’ll be there with my best friend nick too so it’ll be nice having someone i know tag along. what i’m most excited for is a new beginning. somewhere where people don’t know anything about me. i feel that i can be any person that i want to be. there are so many things that go on here at home that sometimes i forget about what the important things in life are and when i’m over there, all i want to do is concentrate on me. focus on the things in my life that i need to fix. i’m excited for the experience. i’ve always been fascinated by london and all of europe. a lot of traveling will be occuring that is for sure. i’m hopin to spend a day in paris and the next day in scotland, or wherever the road takes me. this life is a roller coaster and it’s time to go for a ride. stay tuned, …kevin

He is jealous for me, 
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, 
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. 
When all of a sudden, 
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, 
And I realise just how beautiful You are, 
And how great Your affections are for me. 

And oh, how He loves us so, 
Oh how He loves us, 
How He loves us all 

He is jealous for me, 
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, 
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. 
When all of a sudden, 
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, 
And I realise just how beautiful You are, 
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so, 
Oh how He loves us, 
How He loves us all 

Yeah, He loves us, 
Oh! how He loves us, 
Oh! how He loves us, 
Oh! how He loves. 

We are His portion and He is our prize, 
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, 
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking. 
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss, 
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, 
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, 
When I think about, the way…

Yeah, He loves us, 
Oh! how He loves us, 
Oh! how He loves us, 
Oh! how He loves. 

“How He Loves” - David Crowder

No matter who you are, what you’ve done, where you’ve been. God loves you. Always remember that

haven’t posted anything in a long time.. it’s nice to to have some free time and be able to blog again.  a lot has been going on in my life and most of it is really good and i’m super excited for what’s in store coming up in the next few months.  about 4-5 months ago, my roommate and i started playing some music together with a drummer from st thomas and lots of things have progressed and in one month we’ll be playing our first show.  i’ve got all the confidence in the world that this band will succeed.  we’re playing this battle of the bands and the winner wins 10,000 bucks. haha that’d be nice to have right about now.. other than that, life’s pretty normal. kinda on cruise control right now.

i guess that’s it for now

…kevin

i got a sweet app for my tumblr that allows my followers to see what i’ve been listening to lately. soo if you like any of the music that i’ve playing, or if you hate it, let me know! ha

Today, my friend had a parent pass away.  I feel really bad for my friend and wish that I could be there to help him through this hard time that he is going through.  It really got me thinking though in the fact that life is short.  One day we are here and the next we are gone.  It made me think about my relatioship with Christ and why I need to have Him be the center of my life.  I feel that every time a person I know dies, it’s a self-evaluation of myself and how I think I stand in God’s eyes I don’t want it to be that way.  I need to realize that life is way to short to be lukewarm and that I need to give everything that I have into being a Christ follower and having a relationship with Him.  Only then will I have no fear in death.  Praying for you McD.

…kevin